Now tell me the journo who put this together was not having a good old chuckle at their desk… 
Who said Reuters News wasn't funny news? 

Check it out…

"Tired Gay succumbs to Dix in 200 meters"

Very well put… need I say more on the subject….

Check the full article here at Reuters

- Marky Mark

A tiger by the name of Panjo, is running loose in the Delmas area of Mpumalanga, South Africa after hopping off the back of a bakkie…

So in other words, if you live in the Delmas area then… if you go down to the woods today, you in for a big surprise… la la di dum That is correct, you know how your dog just "knows" he's on his way to the vet, before you've got him in the car he suddenly develops a severe case of paralysis in his legs, well it appears this was no different for our dear friend, Panjo. You see he must have known he was on his way to the vet for a shot because while his owners were transporting him there last night on the back of a bakkie, as soon as he saw a gap, he took it, and now he is wandering around Delmas scaring the locals shitless, as you can imagine.

Panjo is a 17 Month old tiger who apparently lives with his owners on a game farm near Kempton Park. His owner, Goosey Fernandes says that Panjo is very tame and even dossers on the same bed like an oversized kitten, although he has also mentioned that if Panjo doesn't have a kiff chow in no more than 3 days, he'll either die or start killing, which would be a real shame either way really.

Apparently Panjo has been spotted by a spotter plane however they can only really radio in his whereabouts in order for him to be captured. Apparently a large number of farmers are searching for him.

A spokesman for Wildlife South Africa has said if you spot Panjo, "just stand still, if you run you are dead", Goosey Fernandes on the other hand says that you should pick up a stick and shout "No!", no lets get real… I think I'll go with Goosey's idea to be honest, cause at least if you get munched, at least people can say you tried.

It is believed that Panjo is ofcourse an illegal immigrant as it is said that his owner has not registered him which is all a bit boring to be honest.

On a more serious note, I just hope these farmers or anyone that is out looking for him aren't gonna get stupid and take a few pot shots at the poor bugger, you know how they can get sometimes, lets just hope he gets darted and safely returned to his habitat on the game farm where he can bask in the ambience of his fame for the rest of his days.

One thing we are sure of, is that Panjo does have his iPhone on him as he has a Twitter profile which you can follow him on and get up to date information of life on the run… check out his Twitter profile here

I've already designed a nice little DVD cover for Panjo's movie for when he gets back…. call me Panjo!

I guess those jokes of us telling our English colleagues that we have wild animals roaming our streets, just became reality

[Source: TimesLive]

- Marky Mark

PharSide LIVE kicked off to a wicked start this evening after weeks of testing and getting everything set up…

After a few weeks of getting this project off the ground with messing around with mixers, computer components, configurations along with a bit of sometimes debaucherous testing, PharSide LIVE launched at 6pm UK time this evening. Myself, Danger Boy and The Boschman pulled off a successful first weekly show that turned out to be 2hrs 30mins of general bullshit chit chat and some wickedly awesome tracks. The playlist this evening was unbelievably dominated by South African bands and fully loaded by songs by Plush!

For the time being PharSide LIVE will be a weekly show which can be listened to live each Sunday afternoon from around 5pm to help you get over your post weekend party blues, I'll be uploading a podcast of the entire show as an MP3 after the show, so that you can download and put it on your iPod to spice up your morning or evening commute from work with a bit of Saffaness. It's not remotely aimed at being commercial or even professional for that matter, which gives it its character in the sense that, anything goes.

Incase you missed tonights show, you can download the podcast here (left click to stream, right click 'Save As' to download) 

Check out the playlist for this weeks show

Fort Knox – GoldFish
Memories (Feat. Kid Cudi) – David Guetta
Halo – Plush
Africa – Toto
Great Heart – Johnny Clegg
Selling the Drama – Live
Come With Me – Joe Robbins
When Grace Grew Tall – Plush
Dirty Little Secret – All American Rejects
Starstrukk (Feat. Katy Perry) – 3OH3!
Giant Mistake – The Parlotones
Shallow Waters – Just Jinjer
Wishing Well – Plush
Cooler As Ekke – Jack Parow
Is It Any Wonder – Keane
Best of You – Foo Fighters
Run – What Now
Today – Plush
Sun in my pocket – Locnville
Sweetness – Jimmy Eat World
Hot Hot Baby – Parys Potgieter
New Divide – Linkin Park
Freestyler – Bomfunk MC's
Day 'n Nite- Kid Cudi
Soundtracks and Comebacks – GoldFish

Big Thanks to everyone that had a listen to tonights installment, this is a whole learning process as we go along, so I guess the theory applies, it only gets better from here! WOOT! WOOT! The response from tonights show has been absolutely amazing!

Check out PharSide during the week for updates on next weeks show, new ideas are already flying around the place so expect next weeks show to be even bigger and better!

Check out the PharSide LIVE streaming page for more info and show times!

Till next Sunday! Have a jol of a week!

- Marky Mark

Well not much really when you look at the bigger picture, thank goodness, however if you've been in a coma or locked in solitary confinement for the last few weeks and not seen how the Old Spice Guy has social media in a frenzy along with Mel Gibson shocking the world with his well, quite vocal rants, here's a little update to get you up to speed…

Old Spice have launched an ad campaign which is completely rocking the internet and social media at the moment with "The Old Spice Guy". It all started with an ad which is so brilliantly well done that you'll find yourself still sitting in awe after watching it for the 20th time. The geniusness of the ad is its all done in one, yes one, swift sequence with very little to no computer enhancements… 

observe again and again

Haaibo! Ama-zing!

Don't believe it was all done in one sequence? take a look at how it was made here

Now back to me… since this ad was released, the Old Spice Guy has made hilarious video responses to questions and comments from YouTube and Twitter users… take a look at them here

Now back to me… pretty awesome stuff and as you can imagine, its doing wonders for Old Spice… yep, that same stuff you used to buy your grand dad for Christmas, just became cool

Now Mel Gibson on the other hand has not quite being basking in the ambience of positive popularity as our dear friend, The Old Spice Guy… nooooo!

Over the past couple week,s tape recordings of extremely vocal rants between Old Mel and his now Ex, have been leaked out over the internet  which has become bigger news than a certain oil spill near the US…

I don't believe any words I say could be more effective than you actually hearing Old Mel letting off a bit of steam… so here it is, have a little listen…

And then this one where he really loses it… mel-gibson-tape-2

I'll pause and what for you to lift your jaw off the ground….

I think that deserves a BIG EISH!… and we thought Tom Cruise had it bad after the "Couch Incident"… well I'll be surprised if we ever see Mel Gibson in a movie again, cause ain't nobody gonna want him in their movie after this.

Well, now that you're fully up to speed, you're probably still asking yourself,

What does the Old Spice Guy and Mel Gibson have in common?

Well…

This…

Sheer utter brilliance

hahaha! Somebody find the person who put this together and give him a fuckin award!

- Marky Mark

It would appear that the French, although being bigtime wine loving people, have no idea what the word "Hangover" means…

If you've been following Paris Hilton on Twitter you'll know that she has been cruising around France since her little eventful holiday over in SA during the World Cup… on a recent stroll through Paris, she took this pic which has brought this fact to light… it would appear that the French needs a little more of an explanation when it comes to movie titles…

Observe…

Now if they were going to go through the trouble of changing the title, why not just give it a French title that says "The Hangover"?… which thanks to Google Translate, pans out to be "La gueule de bois".

Obviously if you're not a loser that hasn't seen the movie yet, you'd quite rightly know that it was more of an EPIC trip which has pretty much set a standard for all our Vegas holiday dreams….

Did I mention my birthday is in September… I'm trying to convince The Jen that a "Boys Only Birthday Weekend" in Vegas is an awesome idea… its been a few months, she's still not buying it, but my hints are like Chinese Water Torture, she'll break eventually, its just a matter of time

 

[Thanks Paris]

- Marky Mark

It's not everyday that you get to go on national TV to audition for Idols South Africa, so the experience itself would probably be quite unforgettable for most people, however for one certain young lady, this experience is no doubt going to be completely unforgettable not only for herself, but for the rest of South Africa aswell… just because of a sneaky little fart…

I do feel quite sorry for this doll to say the least…. you get people going onto this show and purposely make absolute idiots out of themselves either by thinking they can actually sing or because they actually want the rest of the country to know that they are ridiculously lame, but here this poor girl goes on there to give it her best but unwillingly ambushes herself thanks to her nerves, by letting rip… and it wasn't just a nice little silent one that may have gone un-noticed, this was a one times banger fart, quite possibly the loudest fart I have ever had the displeasure of hearing from a woman… yes I'm one of those guys who still believes girls don't fart and they certainly don't shit either

Check out the video below…

Priceless

I guess we've all had our embarrassing moments… some worse than others… but I guess this takes the cake

Shame I'm sure it will all "blow" over for her soon enough

- Marky Mark

Twilight Eclipse is now showing at cinema's around the country, and guys, if your girlfriend hasn't dragged your sorry ass off to watch it with threats of no action if you don't… then believe me… it's coming 

Now to tell you the honest truth, there's never really been a time that I really refuse point blank to watch a movie since I like to make my own judgements, however there also wasn't a time that I actually fell asleep during a movie due to 100% not from concentrate boredom… until the first Twilight Saga movie was released. I'd heard it was pretty good when it came out, so The Jen and I watched it one night… I'm not really sure what unfolded in the end because a subsequently passed out at some point from boredom.

Alas the next movie came out and a few friends arranged a viewing at a local cinema… The Jen went with them alone that night, purely cause of the fact that I wasn't going to spend my hard earned cash and 2 hours of my life on something so ridiculous.

A few months later I was stuck in a seat for a number of hours flying back from SA and was running out of movie options on the long flight via Dubai, so I decided to give it a chance since I pretty much had nothing better to do… the movie started and about 20mins in, I switched over to a movie I'd already seen thinking, what a load of shit.

And then just recently, what do you know, they released another one… again… and they tried to get me to go watch it… again… and to much of The Jen's displeasure, she watched it, without me… again

Now there is just one version of Twilight I'd definitely pay good money to go and see…

Which is this version… for guys

Enjoy

Now that's what I'm talking about!!!

Girls… give your boyfriend's a night off… grab your girls and head down to the luxurious HMVCurzon in Wimbledon for a showing.

- Marky Mark

Paris Hilton pops into SA, contracts a bit of Football Fever, apparently has a few hits of South Africa's finest and gets bust…

As you probably VERY well know, Paris Hilton has been a pretty keen spectator during the World Cup and touring South Africa on a massive scale taking in pretty much everything our beautiful country has to offer. If you follow her on Twiiter, you'll be well aware that she is pretty damn chuffed with it… however there was a little incident on a Friday evening at the Nelson Mandela Bay Stadium in Port Elizabeth during the Brazil vs Netherlands Quarter Finals match… Hardly surprising, Paris was apparently involved in a bit of scandalous behaviour which included herself, a skyf and the police… she was later released and the rest is history…

Although, this did cause our good friends at Nando's to pounce on the opportunity and serve us with yet another slice of creative genius…

and here it is…

Although I reckon even Paris would bitch about the prices here in the UK…

[Thanks Courtney]

- Marky Mark

Fabio Capello recently unveiled the new England Football Jersey featuring some brand new proud sponsors…

Petrol giant, Total

Fashionable, FCUK

and delivery specialists, UPS

 

 The Football Association today proudly unveiled Total, fcuk and UPS as the new sponsors of the England football team. ‘The combination of these three corporate giants perfectly captures the ethos of the England side,’ said an FA spokesman. ‘After all, they had nothing in the tank when it counted, and they’ve proved themselves to be a bunch of expensive posers who always fail to deliver.’ 

The announcement followed the news that Nationwide building society would be ending its sponsorship of the national side after the FA rejected its pre-World Cup offer of a new £20m deal. ‘Not so fcuking cocky now, are you?’ said Nationwide in a prepared statement yesterday, before respectfully suggesting that the FA ‘shoved its sponsorship deal right up it’s arse’. Pundits noted that if the FA followed Nationwide’s advice, it would be the second time in a fortnight that England had been laid wide open at the back. 

The new shirts come in a range of bright ‘easy to spot’ colours after claims from England players that the old kit was painted in ‘magic invisible ink’ which made it impossible to pick out an easy and obvious pass to a team mate. The new shirts are also made of a super lightweight material, unlike the old tops which were apparently made of extra-heavy chain mail which left the Premiership stars lumbering around looking exhausted and unfit. 

However, one criticism has been made of the design of the new England kit with claims that the neck hole was inexplicably too small for the heads of the Premiership stars. Players say this will make it very hard to pull the shirt off during an over-exuberant goal celebration, but a spokesman for the manufacturers said ’we don’t envisage this being a problem.’ 

- Marky Mark

PharSide.co.uk's favourite illegal immigrant to the UK, Parys Potgieter, called me up yesterday with a wicked idea…
He tjooned me, 'Marky, what do you skeem of getting my kiff tjoon, Hot Hot Baby, on 5FM?' So I tjooned him, 'Parys, anything is possible these days my boi, lets see what we can do'

Now you may remember how successful the British public were at getting Rage Against The Machine to number one over Christmas with the use of FaceBook… if not, check it out here …amazing! 

Now we have started our own South African version of the concept to get 'Parys Potgieter – Hot Hot Baby' played on Gareth Cliff's Morning Show on 5FM… How will we do this? Well all you've gotta do is click a button to Vote, that's it… with enough support behind it, I seriously doubt 5FM will say No for many various reasons. Why? because we can, and it would be frickin hilarious! Parys reckons it will certainly put a smile on just about every person's face on their way to work that morning jamming to Hot Hot Baby booming from their subs in their cars

So lets get this rolling! Get in and be a part of this mass vibe! Let's get Parys on 5FM!

All you need to do is go to this FaceBook page that we've set up http://www.facebook.com/pages/Get-Parys-on-5FM/132367163463596 ,just click 'Like' it to vote, The music video is on the page if you haven't checked it yet.

Tjoon everyone you know about it so that we can build up a huge mass of support! Share this post on FaceBook via the Share button at the top of the article.

Once we have enough support we'll tjoon 5FM, "ey whats cutting my bra's, we all wanna make a one times dedication ekse"

So join in, its gonna be fun! Lets show everyone the power of FaceBook…  Lets get Hot Hot Baby banging on 5FM!  :) do it! do it!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Get-Parys-on-5FM/132367163463596

Jack Parow schmaaks Parys! Check it out his tweet! 

- Marky Mark