Many of us are super moms, dedicated wives or partners powerful in our professions and yet whilst juggling the numerous roles we play, we often neglect the ‘me’ behind the magic. It’s as if as we embrace the art of selflessness, we start to forget the ‘self’.
In almost every Psychology subject that I lecture in, we touch on the ICE BERG THEORY. A theory that states that the Titanic was sunk by what was invisible below the water level, not the visible bit that the ship and her crew could see. And this couldn’t be more true of us as women today. It’s not your busy schedule, bad eating habits, flabby love handles, loud laugh or inability to find time for exercise that is sinking you (causing self hatred or neglect) – No my friend, it’s our thoughts that are driving these beliefs that do so. And enough is enough.
If you’ve ever had a mentor or coach, then you’ll know the immeasurable effect that someone believing in you can have on your life. Research states that the average person spends about 70% of their day in a dialogue with themselves. So many of us are having a tea partying with our inner critic. But imagine instead, if 70% of your day was spent with someone whispering encouragement in your ear all day. Just imagine how much more you’d be able to attempt, achieve and or realize?
So how does one escape self-loathing or a simple denial of self, and enter into the extraordinary self love journey that we were created for as women?
Neuroscience shows us that we are capable of changing our negative thinking to positive, by the mere repetition of a certain thought or by reproducing an action.
Do these 3 powerful self-belief habits everyday, for 21 days and watch as you start to live a more authentically beautiful life from the inside out:
Write down 3 things that you love about yourself, everyday. This simple habit will train your brain to look for the positive over the negative.
2. Create new habits:
Stop cutting things out (sugar, carbs, wine, judging others) as this sends our brains into overdrive and we tend to overindulge in these vices even more; instead start replacing old habits with new healthy ones. Dark chocolate over milk chocolate, half a glass of wine with lots of ice over 2 glasses; name 3 things you’re grateful for about yourself instead of making unfair comparisons. By replacing old habits with new ones, these healthy choices are far more likely to stick and to help you to stay clear of self hate when previously unrealistic goals are not met.
3. Just one thing:
Take on the adventure of adding 1 thing to your day, everyday, that makes you come alive. I’m a mom, you say, I have no time for me. Well perhaps a mere turning up the volume in your car and 'car-dancing-with-both-hands-on-the-steering-wheel' (because we are responsible, after all), to a favourite song is enough for your brain to start realizing that YOU, your body and your fulfillment matters. Because you do matter, beautiful, you do!!
To all the super moms, brave warriors and selfless queens out there - your ability to multitask and to do so with such grace confirms that you’ve got what it takes to face this new self-belief habit with determination and to become a fan of your own magic! We recognize the potential in you and it's time for you to do the same, beautiful one.Caitlyn de Beerwww.caitlyndebeer.comhttps://www.facebook.com/CaitlyndebeerLifecoaching https://www.instagram.com/caitlyndebeer/