Archive for October, 2009

The new South African ad for Toyota Corolla

You know what is it with South African ads that always tend to have a wicked sense of humour? Anyone will tell you that every single Nando’s ad has been hilarious, even if they are ripping off Julius Malema or not

Check this new ad for Toyota Corolla South Africa, I love the part where he says ” Siss! I can smell you from here, take a bath!” haha very well done

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dDTD40Kp12o

- Marky Mark

Confucius say….

If you can’t find book you looking for, then you probably shopping at….

If you haven't smiled then there's no helping you...

[Thanks Waine]

- Marky Mark

Durban Curry Night at Down South is a winner!

So I checked Down South were advertising dis Durban Curry Night on a Wednesday an all right, £5 for a schweet dish of proper Durban curry and they even throw in a dop of your choice, no word of a lie right. So you know I schmaak a schweet deal when I see one, so I tjooned the Jen, “Hey unty, we going for a curry!” So we hopped into the Black Mamba, slammed on the gas and with a squealing wheel spin, off we tjooned it to this place in Southfields called Down South. ey I slipped the black mamba straight into one parking with total perfection even Clarkson would have been impressed, the Jen battering an eyelid with a sigh of satisfaction in admiration with how smoothly I handled it. We walk in the door and straight away I smell the sweet scent of salvation, I thought to myself…you, me, we gonna dine tonight! So we pull up a seat at a table, the Jen sits down comfortably while I slouch in the chair checking da ou’s checking my cherry with one gleaming eye, and with one stare down an a nod, deez ou’s know I’m da man, no gold tooth required.

So we order two dishes of lamb fantasia, along with a coke for the Jen and ofcourse for me, one ‘Can of the Best’ and I don’t mean Castrol GTX right, I mean the schweet smooth taste of Jack and Coke. Popped a £10 over like I’ll never miss it thinking to myself, ey men, dis is one schweet fuggin deal right. Now before I arrived, I heard deez rumours that Baas Jannie that cooks the curry, is a bit of a Curry Koning, so I tjoon myself, okee I check dis rabble rowser, we’ll see about that.

A few minutes later Baas Jannie himself brings over two full plates of lekker Durban Curry steaming in all its glory, and with a smell that brought one fuggin tear to my eye from the flashbacks which made me reminice of days back home in shit-hot sunny Durban. Ey so I check dis out ekse, make a full one eye shut inspection and think okee, lets chow! So I dip my fork in one tender piece of lamb and place this succulent ting in my mouth. I tink to myself, now for the Fai$al test… one chew, two chew, gone! Passed with flying colours just like Fai$al’s VW 3.2l EOS at 155mph. EISH! this was good! Now let me tell you one ting right, when dis touches your lips you jus can’t blerrie stop. In just a bit longer than a GTi down a quarter mile I klaared that plate flat. Ey I check the Jen, packing that curry in like a savage, and no word of a lie right, if the Jen schmaaks the curry, then you got to obey because this rare moment is more valuable than the one time banging Rockford Fosgate super sound system in Fai$al’s cab right.

I have to admit, dis fuggin Durban Curry is the shit and for only 5 bucks its even better shit right… an with a free dop…Priceless! Gonna be back next week and also probably take Huncle for a taste of heavenly satisfaction.
One important ting though lani’s, Baas Jannie’s curry is becoming quite popular, so I found out tonight that if you gonna go and get a taste of home, make sure you give dem a call before you go so they can save you some, cause that fuggin pot goes down quicker than a fuggin M3 hauling ass down a strip okee.

I just wanna tjoon one more ting okee, Baas Jannie is a champion curry koning, no word of a lie right!

While you dere, check out the dop specials they ave over the weekend, you’ll be fuggin amazed right!

Down South Bar and Lounge

Tel: 020 878 82363

90 Inner Park Road, SW19 6DA

- Marky Mark

The Fray completely rocked the Royal Albert Hall hands down!

This evening myself and The Jen headed over to The Royal Albert Hall to catch one of my all time favourite bands, The Fray for their long awaited show.
Its the first time I’ve been to the venue and was completely thrown back by its awesomeness, no wonder thats where the Queen herself likes to jol. One must also be quite impressed with thus magnificent awesomeness. It turned out to be an extremely intimate gig due to the venue and because of the fact that our seats where literally within about 3 meters of the stage, to the extent that if Isaac Slade felt the need to hock a loogy whilst he belowed through the mic standing on the monitors as he did, it probably would have landed on us.
They rang out with just about every song off their two albums, ‘How To Save a Life’ and ‘The Fray’ ending up with quite a long set which took us from 8:45pm through till just about 11pm. They did a pretty cool cover version of a Kanye West song during their encore, ‘Heartless’ I believe it was. My only disappointment for the show was that they didn’t play one of my all time Fray favourites, ‘Look After You’, but when I say disappointment, it was hardly a spec of dust on the giant window pane that was this awesome show. They really outdid themselves this time as the previous show that I saw them at The Hammersmith Apollo, was a bit of a slight let down in regard to stage presence. Now I’d like to point out that I was mainly there for the music but unfortunately it seemed as if they came on, did there thing and went straight off again, but this time it was the absolute and no holds barred complete opposite. Isaac communicated with the crowd on such a level by getting everyone to do this little hip hop hand gesture during the Kanye West song and getting everyone to pull out there cellphones to create a twinkling star effect throughout the venue, to telling stories of wooing his bird when they first met and generally acting the fool which was pretty wicked. Now I’ll tell you, this was probably the best gig I’ve been to in the sense of possibly taking the best photos ever however as my luck would have it, the first fail was that I forgot to take my camera to work with me this morning as I went straight from there, and the second fail came in where I couldn’t get the camera on my phone to work properly, so I landed up with no photos and no videos…lovely.

All in all, if you missed it, you missed out big, catch them the next time they come around which should be in the next year or so as they stop off in London quite often, I know I’ll definately be there.

- Marky Mark

Pamela Anderson starring in Aladdin at Wimbledon Theatre

Yes guys you read that correctly, the one and only Pamela Anderson is going to be rocking up on our door steps to star in a pantomime of Aladdin at Wimbledon Theatre for two weeks starting from 13th December.

Pammy will star as the Genie bursting from the lamp in the show and will be taken over by talk show host Paul O’Grady after her two week stint.
From what I’ve heard and completely unsurprisingly, ticket sales for this have shot through the roof and is fast becoming the biggest thing to hit the Wimbledon Theatre since, well… the Wimbledon Theatre.

Hopefully we’ll get a glimpse of good ol’ Pammy while she’s here, I can see a huge crowd forming at the backstage door where all the kids usually gather for autographs and who knows, as with most of the actors and actresses that star in shows at Wimbledon Theatre, maybe just maybe she’ll pop into Bar Sia next door for one or two dops

I wonder if she”ll be keen to sign my DVD copy of Pam and Tommy… haha

- Marky Mark

Suspect in Bianca Warburton murder says it was a mistake

One of the three suspects, Ntembiso Msalaku, 25, arrested in the early hours of Saturday morning for the murder of Bianca Warburton last Wednesday 14^th October, has said in his statement “It was a mistake” and has intended to plead guilty as he stood with his co-accused Mpuhumazi Gumede, 29, and Moffat Mthoti, 27, the co-accused have told the court that they would conduct their own defence.

Magistrate Renier Boshoff has said that they face a very serious charge which could lead to a minimum sentence of 25 years.

The next court appearance is on 13th November and they will remain in custody until then.

Now my question is this… at which point during the situation does this idiot think it became a “mistake”? Was it when they approached the car intending to hijack it? Was it when he aimed the gun intending to shoot? Was it when he pulled the trigger intending to kill? or, was it because they killed an innocent girl helping the community and ended up taking nothing?

There is no mistake here, as the course of events unfolded he reacted in a way that he intended, he made decisions in his mind and intended to carry out those decisions fully understanding what he was doing, he was in control of his mind, he made those decisions consciously unless he can prove he was not in control of his body or he was being controlled by the aliens of District 9. It is because of these actions that he has proved that he does not belong in society and should be permanently removed. The only mistake here is the mistake that he was ever born, that is the mistake.

See the article regarding Bianca’s Murder here

[source]

- Marky Mark

How to hold on while the train is in motion in order to avoid falling:

Of course I am referring to the older gentleman by the door — but you knew that.

[Thanks Waine]

- Marky Mark

Three suspects have now been arrested for the senseless killing of Bianca Warburton in an attempted hijacking on Wednesday.

After I’ve been keeping a keen eye on the news surrounding Bianca’s murder, I woke up this morning to some good news. At around 2am this morning police received tip offs from members of the community regarding the whereabouts of suspects involved in the murder of Bianca Warburton. Inspector Moses Maphakela said that around 2:30am this morning three men originally from Kwa-Zulu Natal were arrested in Alexandra for the murder of Bianca Warburton… one was in possession of an unlicensed firearm believed to be the one used in the murder.

Bianca Warburton and her husband Clifford

Bianca Warburton, originally from Durban, was a social worker doing an internship for her masters degree in Psychology through WITS University and was based in Alexandra, north of Johannesburg. She was tragically killed in an attempted hijacking on Wednesday morning 14th October whilst leaving her clinic, you can read the full story here

Big cheers to Inspector Moses Maphakela, awesome work by him and his team! A personal thank you from me. By the sounds of things these could definitely be the okes and even more so with the fact that the one oke was found with a gun on him, I guess all it would take now is to check if the rounds match.

[Source]

- Marky Mark

This article is dedicated to Bianca Warburton who was tragically shot and killed in an attempted hijacking on Wednesday 14^th October 2009…

I wouldn’t normally write about something like this since it’s a daily occurrence in South Africa and they have thousands of people with full time jobs dealing with things like this on a daily basis which they still battle to keep up with. However when it hits a bit closer to home it becomes a far bigger issue as I’m sure everyone will agree. In this case, this is a friend of a friend. I did not know her personally therefore some information may be incorrect so please forgive me if it is; I’m going by what I’ve managed to get together through numerous articles on the net.

My deepest sympathy goes out to the friends and family of Bianca Warburton, my thoughts are with them during this tough time. It’s a bit hard to put this all down knowing that with it being hard enough for her friends and family to deal with the pain of their loss, the last thing they really need is to be reminded of it everywhere they look, so for this I do apologise, however this post is not intended to spread the news but hopefully serve a purpose and get people to think a bit more so that Bianca’s death is not in vain but can hopefully change and save further lives that are currently on a path to a very unfortunate similar end.

For the majority who may not be aware, Bianca Warburton was a 26 year old girl originally from Durban completing her Masters Degree in Psychology through WITS University up in Joburg and was doing her internship in the Ububele Umdlezane Parent Infant Project. On Wednesday morning 14^th October at around 9am, Bianca was leaving a clinic in Alexandra when she stopped at a stop street on First Street, two men believed to be from the township attempted to hijack her car but then shot her in the upper body and fled with absolutely nothing, no car, no handbag, no cellphone… yes nothing. She managed to drive further however lost control of the car which came to a stop in London Avenue. Unfortunately Bianca had been fatally wounded and died at the scene before police or help could arrive. Witnesses were able to describe the gunmen as apparently these okes weren’t even disguised or anything. The police were not able to and still have not found them, the case remains open at this time.

Now there was a girl working at building a better South Africa, she had aspired to doing her Masters degree which many of us including myself could only ever dream of achieving a masters degree in anything, this was a girl who may have done great things and played a key role in building a better South Africa through compassion and understanding that sadly the last person in power who displayed such ideals was Nelson Mandela himself, sadly those in power these days sitting from where I’m sitting, seem to be driven by power and greed, not concentrating enough on bringing the country together as one.

I have read Long Walk to Freedom, I understand full well how Mandela and the old ANC dedicated their lives to bringing the country together and bring peace to the nation; however those they’ve left to run with it are doing a fine job basking in the ambience of power and fortune like old farts in a steam room, not concentrating on the bigger issue. Honestly, Jacob Zuma seems to be better than expected though, to the extent that the thought has crossed my mind of the possibility of returning to SA a couple times to also play a part in building better and beautiful country, but he needs to honour that of what his predecessors have built for him and along the same path else everything they ever did is all for nothing. As for Julius Malema, him and his racial hate speech have no place in South Africa as it is quite possible that Bianca’s blood is on his hands. The reason I say this is because the gunmen didn’t even take anything, they just killed her and left, I guess it is quite possible that she was killed because she was a white girl in a black area and they may have been filled with the evil that Julius preaches.

Now the question I asked myself is this, do I read this as daily news and forget about it by tomorrow, or do I not let Bianca become just another unfortunate statistic of crime in South Africa, or do I add my two cents and not let this go to rest so easily. Well there’s no secret of the choice I made. I’ll ask you to ask yourself that same question, are you going to let this poor girl’s life be just another number in an excel spreadsheet or are you going to do the very least and help to make people aware of just what the hell is going on and not let this go? Think about your life, your entire life and everything that is in it, what does your life mean to you? Do you want to just let someone take it and end it on their terms? No flipping way! Picture in your mind for one moment that Bianca was your friend how would you feel, a lot of us have sisters, now think of your very own sister, picture your sister in your mind and think about her, now picture Bianca as your sister, picture your very own sister as her, imagine the sadness of loosing your very own sister right now, today, within the next 10 seconds, can you imagine the emptiness and the loss of loosing your very own sister right now, realise that you are never ever going to see or speak to her ever again….think about that hard right now…..am I causing an emotional stir in your mind? I have a sister and she is my life, she is my number one girl that I would give my own life for, I can not even come to terms of what my life would be without her and it makes me physically sick to even think of it. Now whatever you can imagine right now is nothing even remotely close to how Bianca’s family are feeling right now, their sister and daughter has been taken from them and this is very real for them, they are feeling this right now wherever they are. Now ask yourself that question again, are you going to read this and forget about it, until the day comes where it is your sister you are reading about, because you will remember what I’ve just said here and you’d wished you’d done something, or are you going to do the very least and help to make people aware that this can also happen to them and something needs to be done. Do you think Bianca’s family knew the terrible events that were about to unfold while sitting in Durban morning traffic just like you this morning on your way to work? This is the harsh reality of it, it could be you walking into work tomorrow morning and getting that phone call. What are you going to do? Are you going to sit there reading this and at the very least pass this on, or are you going to read it til the end and think “it will never happen to me” because those are the most famous of famous last words.

What do we do? I hear you ask… Well getting a few people to stand around waving boards and banners outside a courthouse is just not going to cut it I’m afraid, it’s like a small bee sting on the arse of crime, it may swell up for a minute but not for long. Ideally this needs to be tackled in the same manner as the fight against apartheid as this was eventually successful, and if mass action strikes and stay-aways are the way forward to get the government to stop buggering around, throw everything they have at it and tackle this once and for all then so be it, seeds need to be planted in the minds of those who can make that difference so I’ll ask you that question again… what are you going to do after you reach the end of this article? Remember the loss you could feel which has become a tragic reality for Bianca’s family? That could be you, what are you going to do?

Below is a photo of Bianca, as I said, I never knew her, she is a friend of a friend but I can tell you that when you look at her face you can see a person with a beautiful personality that shines through, don’t let her life, just like the life and lives that you cherish so much, become another statistic… Please pass on

Bianca Warburton

Just a note before leaving a comment:

I know there will be alot of anger over this however displaying that anger in the form of racial hateful comments is not going to help, probably only make things worse, so therefore if you do comment please do so tactfully and maturely. Telling people how many people you want to kill will not help the problem at all and I may delete comments that display racial hatred and the likes.

- Marky Mark

More odd names in South African ID Books are surfacing

Its seems to be a common occurance these days where humorous scans of South African ID books are being passed around, and to think these are only the ones you know about, can you just imagine how many are floating around out there. Do the people at Home Affairs have no common sense whatsoever in spotting obvious mistakes? I’d love to see how they completed the application form to get the job in the first place.

Check it out…

Mr. Two-Rand

Don't Worry Be Heppy

Probably what MJ would have looked like without all the plastic surgery

Mr. Kill Me Quick

Going for gold! I wonder if he passed cause I bet you the home affairs worker didn't...

I "Promise" you thats my name... ja right!

But you laugh… this doesn’t only happen in SA… it happens here in the UK too, however on a much smaller scale…

A good friend of mine recently completed her Ancestral Sentence and when her package from the Home Office arrived, she excitedly opened the envelope containing her brand spanking new Red Rooster however she instantly noticed that they had spelt her surname wrong, they had left out a letter… now if you’ve ever gone through the rigorous checking process of obtaining your British Passport, the question you’ve got to ask yourself is, how did they get this wrong? On the application form, you clearly print out your full name twice in block letters and I even had to print her name on the back of her photographs and sign them as I was her consignatory, it passes through a number of people until you yourself have to attend a final check appointment at the home office to make sure everything on the form is 100% correct and the passport forms match the person who is applying for it, if you’ve ever gone through the process you’ll understand and realise that it seems like a total fool proof process… well… need I say more

To be fair though, she sent it back the same day and literally within that same week she received a new Red Rooster with the correct spelling printed inside… I wonder how long it would take in SA…. I guess its safe to say its not something I’d hold my breath for

[Thanks Justin]

- Marky Mark